If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
Worst Jokes Ever
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A Christler.
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
