Worst Jokes Ever
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?
I don't know, but it's messed up.
Why do girls not have balls?
Because they don’t.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they take all the green cards.
I'm not a robot, but orphans are.
What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
What kind of dress does a Roblox Floppa house have?
"ADDRESS!"
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.
Let's go punch some orphans, who are they gonna tell, their parents? 🤣🤣🤣
I found your parent!
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.