The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Ha ha! Get rickrolled!
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)
What's tree plus tree?
Sticks!
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
I was gonna make a gay joke but fuck it.
What's it called if an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high!
Say "I cup" but in words.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because no one will call them daddy.
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
