I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
Because he can't get to home
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
