What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?
A selfie.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.
If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
What movie do orphans hate? "Home."
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Imagine being autistic idiots.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.
I like your mom naked.
