Worst Jokes Ever
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Q: What do you call 9/11? A: Enemy persion airstrike.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Why was 6 scared of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.