Worst Jokes Ever

Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."

Your mom is so fat that she doesn't need WiFi because she is worldwide.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

What's between an orphan and an apple tray?

The apples get picked.

Why can't my grandma talk?

Because she's dead.

when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

Messi chiquito...

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"

Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."

I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"

That's the best I've done so far.

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.

Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?

The punchline isn’t apparent.

Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.

What kind of paper likes music? Wrapping paper.