Worst Jokes Ever
It's sad someone has ligma.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."
I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
Twin Tower jokes are just plane.
My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.
People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger sister.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?