Worst Jokes Ever
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
I specialize in jokes about orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!
I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in between 6 and 9.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
I am the danger.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
How do you know when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?