I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Worst Jokes Ever
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.
Ily.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What is gayer than man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
What kills you?
Suicide.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
Don't be emo, be happy, Nemo!
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
