Worst Jokes Ever

Bestfriend @3am: I love you.

Me: Love you too.

*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*

I don't know if this is funny.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.

Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?

Search up biblically accurate angels.

I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.

Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Man's hairline is back-court violation!

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked!

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

What do you call a house with dog hair?

A shed.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.