You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
I killed a homeless dude, now he's at funeral home 😭💔
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
