To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
POV: You make an emo Mr. Beast.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?
I said to the fish, "I have dam."
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
