Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
At 9/11, the people in the Twin Towers ordered pizza. They asked for pepperoni, but instead got plane.
Ppnutty68 is JFK's vice senior Ohio president.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home base.
Making 9/11 jokes? It's just plane wrong.
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.
The priest had a very holy shirt.
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
Why don't we keep the balls rolling?
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!
