What is money called on the moon?
Mooney.
Worst Jokes Ever
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?
The NBA.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Amber Heard morning schedule:
- Wake up - Eat breakfast - Take a shit - Get out of bed - Shower
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Why is a priest different from acne?
Acne waits to come on your face.
Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
