Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
Worst Jokes Ever
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.
Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.
Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.
Official flag of Japan? The Sun.
Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
