Worst Jokes Ever
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.