Worst Jokes Ever
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yo mama!
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.