Worst Jokes Ever

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?

"I finished my job."

What about me?

Is laughing a problem?

Laughing at what?

I want to jump.

Jump—what?

Jump off the hook.

Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.

Want to hear a joke? Just look in the mirror!

To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊

U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!

Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

The apples get picked.