You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
