Never jokes
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
Well I guess exoplanets never had some exoloration. 🤣🤣🤣
I didn’t orphan never say home.
Because they didn’t have one.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again.
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
Why is something orphans can never say?
"Let's go home."
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
I'm like dynamite, you'll never know when I explode.
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.