I asked stephen if he was a organ donator and he said why i said thats a shame i need parts for my go cart
my mom said " Don't jump off we need you" and i said "no" then i jump off a building and died.
Son-Dad I need a new butt. Dad-why son? Son-because my'n has a huge crack in it.
Head of Company: We need to stop testing our products on animals. Consultant: Why? The shampoo companies do it. Head of Company: Yeah, but we make dildos.
Who needs April fools..
When your whole life is a joke?
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.
I go into get a prostate exam, I'm nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need? A: Tumor
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
The teacher asks her class "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says "sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.
why do orphans hate going to costco because they need a parent to get samples
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven
Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills.
Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him?
Doctor: They Are For You.!!
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
yo mamas so fat that she doesn't need internet cause she is already world wide
[God creating spiders] God: make it have 8 legs Angel: ok? bit excessive but ok God: and 8 eyes Angel: You need to calm down and li- God: give it a butt rope
