Need jokes

Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?

Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.

Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?

Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!

Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.

Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?

Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?

Q: Why do birds need feathers?

A: To cover up their butt quack!

Who needs parents to be great?

Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.

He’s got himself.

I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?

What does cake and baseball have in common?

They both need a batter.

My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.

I think I need to kiss your butt.

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

Why did your father go away?

'Cause he needs da milk.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?

Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.

Stranger: Do you need a doctor?

What did the rapper say at the bakery?

"I need ALL the dough you got!"

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.