Need jokes
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
I don't need a punchline. Karens are the only joke I need.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.
The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.
I have an orphan joke.
But it needs parental guidance.
The students at Columbine needed books. But all they got were magazines.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."