Need jokes
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
I have an orphan joke.
But it needs parental guidance.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.
The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."