Need jokes
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
I’m sorry, Chairy, but I don’t need four more legs.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Who needs April Fool's when your life is a joke?
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
Orphans must hate 2020 because you need a home to homeschool.
What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?
"Need help packing your shit?"
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!