Need jokes
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.
That face needing some laughing pills.
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
I wish I could follow you, though.
But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Why can’t an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need a parent's signature.
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.