Need jokes
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Titanic: ight, I need a place to CRASH tonight.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.
Who needs parents to be great?
"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?
"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.