Neck jokes
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Memes
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
Penis, neck, rope?
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏