Neck jokes

What was the first thing Thanos snapped?

Loki’s neck.

Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.

That’s about to become a rope around my neck.

Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."

The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."

First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"

Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."

Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?

Me: *silence*

Do a neck reveal.

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?

Getting neck!

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?

For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.

Why do giraffes have such long necks?

Because their feet smell!

Yo forehead so big it touches yo neck.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”