Neck Jokes

you look sexy with that rope around your neck

Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread, that’s about to become a rope around my neck

Two guys watching a war movie at a Bar are talking , one says to the other. " The Nazi's starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war". The other says " my Dad died in a camp as well...he broke his neck" First guy says " how did he break his neck?" Second guy says " He fell out of the Guard Tower".

Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?

Me: *silence*

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

Do a neck reveal

A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck.”

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigs tie. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That longer than I'll live.

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck. I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

why do giraffes have such long necks?

Because their feet smell!

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”