Newest Navy Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

after 6 months of lockdown

I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself

As the navy seals burst into osama bin ladens room in his pakistani compound, his last dying words forever wrung in the ears of the seals...

"It was just a prank bro"

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio
conversation between the British and the Irish,
off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98. Radio conversation
released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-01:
IRISH
BRITISH
IRISH
BRITISH
IRISH
BRITISH
IRISH
Please divert your course 15 degrees to
the South, to avoid a collision.
Recommend you divert your course
15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision.
Negative. You will have to divert your
course 15 degrees to the South to avoid
a collision.
This is the Captain of a British navy ship.
I say again, divert YOUR course.
Negative. I say again. You will have to
divert YOUR course.
THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER
HMS BRITANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST
SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE
ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS,
THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU
CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH,
I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH,
OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE
UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF
THIS SHIP.
We are a lighthouse. Your call.

South Korea

What did the Americans call the battle of Midway after pearl harbour?

The jap trap

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little
bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the
Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids
on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am
trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire
US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another
target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of
which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my
fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that
shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we
speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across
the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better
prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the
pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead,
kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over
seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I
have access to the entire arsenal of the United States
Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your
miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If
only you could have known what unholy retribution your
little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you,
maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you
couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you
goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown
in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.

So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"

Putin be like that boat is now submarine!

The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:

"Hello please divert to 5°East to avoid collision. Thank you." The commander starts answering: "No you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!" "Sorry sir You are the one who should divert to 5°East! Over! "Listen to me you asshole! We are the USS Washington and we have an entire fleet at our disposal and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!" After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again: "In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"

Iran: we can beat the USA

Japan: YOU DO REALIZE WE BEAT HIM IN BATTLE SHIP AND HE DROPPED THE SUN ON US

Iran: So?

Japan: TWICE

Girls: OMG wat color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?

Boys: blue is blue

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking..

Abandon ship!

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being load and shouting about all the woman they have in port that had given them gonorrhea.... Bloody Seamen.