What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What’s the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!