Name Jokes

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."

Hi, what's your name?

I don't know, I'm disabled.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

Me: Hi, my name is...

Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?

Me: Hey, stop dude!

Bro: How is it going, bro--

Me: SHUT UP!

Bro: Is that a gun?

Me: *Pointing at bro*

Bro: Dude, I'm...

Me: *BANG* *BANG*

Me: Finally, it's over.

The image contains three panels of a man with a pained facial expression. The text on top of the image says, "When u tell ur sibling to go ask mom/dad for something but they mention ur name when asking."

What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?

Answer: Who cares?

Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!

Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.

Student: My name is Buttitches.

Teacher: Please tell us your real name.

Student: Buttitches.

Teacher: I’m calling the police.

Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.

Student: Buttitches.

Police: *shoots gun.*

A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."

My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?

What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."

One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.

Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.

"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END