My jokes

I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.

"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."

Guys go to this link......................................................................................https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5b3937c1a328f6072c316bd6/hey-guys-who-wants-to-play-roblox-with-me-we-can-go-om-cool-maps-my-name-is-xx_robloxgamer420_xx-pleeease-lets-play-rol......................................................................and read it bum. Don't dislike cuz it'd retarded.

Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?

Boyfriend: My mom taught me.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.

I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."

My dog has no nose.

How does he smell?

Terrible!

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

Guys, go to https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5b3937c1a328f6072c316bd6/hey-guys-who-wants-to-play-roblox-with-me-we-can-go-om-cool-maps-my-name-is-xx_robloxgamer420_xx-pleeease-lets-play-rol and read the whole thing because I need people to play with, and everyone is being retarded. Thanks guys, goodbye.

My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!

I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”

How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave?

I don't know. I close my eyes when I masturbate.

The other day I lost all my crayons.

I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.

My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.

Wanna hear a mean joke?

My life.

What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.

What does a dead baby look like?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.