My jokes

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.

Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!

Wait, what Billy?

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.

My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"

He didn't realize what was about to happen.

"That's what she said!"

What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.

I like my coffee like I like my women.

I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!

Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.

Here’s my pun.

Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

Hi, my name is Bob.

Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise.

Btw, you have to like all my posts :)

I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.

My life is a joke.

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.

I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."

I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."