How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
My Jokes
I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
My sexlife xddddddddd
I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!
My d*ck is hard, what's your name?
My dick is hard, what's your name?
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
My life, part 2.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
My pee pee fell off.
My wife was run over.
My dog died.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
