My jokes

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

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Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

I would too if my name was Braille.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.

What's the difference between my mum and my dad?

My mum stayed.

I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.

Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉

This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.