My jokes

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

  • 1

    • A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

    "Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."

    My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."

    Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."

    My friends: "What's your dream job?"

    Me: "I'm going to die young :))"

    One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

    Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...

    Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

    Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.

    Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.

    My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

    My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.