My jokes
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.
My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.
A school bus full of children.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."