My jokes

The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."

"What's been going on, John?" I asked.

"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.

The dirty bastard!

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.

I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.

The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”

So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.