New My Jokes - Page 114 - Worst Jokes Ever

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_

What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?

My mind.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"

What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?

His life insurance...

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

I know this is supposed to be an emo joke, but does anyone want to play Rocket League?

I'm on PS4, by the way!

My name: Box3d_by_Clapped

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?!"

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.