Much jokes
HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
Me: It smells like good fam.
Friend: What's good fam?
Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?