Much jokes

Why don't blind people skydive?

Because it scares their dogs too much!

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.

How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?

A buccaneer.

How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.

No matter how much I love cake...

I would never dessert you.

How much does a hipster weigh?

About an Instagram.

Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.