Much jokes

President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"

*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*

Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.

Don’t bother me none, babe!

Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!

“Hol up”

FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT.

Why do orphans hate baseball so much?

Because they can't run home.

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.

Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."

Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...

Girl, scan the code on your wrist!

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.

Why do orphans play GTA so much?

Because they can be wanted for once.

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.

"Sticks and stones break my bones."

A crowbar does it so much quicker.

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.

- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.

- Oh...that might actually be even easier.