Movie

Movie jokes

Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

What do you call an orphan? Homeless.

What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.

Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.

You don't have dreams, you have movies.

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

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    • Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

    Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

    Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

    Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

    Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

    Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

    Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

    Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.

    Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.

    Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.

    Alen vs. Predator.