Movie jokes
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Wat is a kids gajfnjafb movie? A sjdhfsdjfmksdf LOL
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? 😀"
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)