Mother's jokes

I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

What do the initials "MAD" stand for?

Mothers Against Democrats.

"Go frick a cow!"

"I already fricked your mother."

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".

Kris

Damn this shit!

Megan Thee Stallion: What!

Kris: My mother is a fucker!

The whole world:

OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?

They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

Never got a mother's love, lol.

Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.