Mortality jokes
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
Dead baby jokes never get old...
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.
They never get old.
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.