What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
People need to stop taking life so seriously, after all, no one gets out alive!
-->[]life death[]<--
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Theres something special about cemeteries People are dying to get inside
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
My dad drove past a graveyard he said “I won’t be buried there.” I asked why. He said “Because I am not dead yet”
People want to be nice to each other, because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery in an anti vax kid? A. Nothing they both die at ten
Where are people sent to die
rosshall academy
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
Suicide is population control, republished.
