Mortality jokes
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)