How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
Your hairline more bent than James Charles’ gender
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression. At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? -- The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :( How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:( How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehed.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey
the more emos there are the less emos there are
If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"
Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
Kfc proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids.😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
