Morbid jokes
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?
This would be much better if you were alive.
"Morbidity, the story of my life in one joke."
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"
Actually doing homework.
So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"
She said, "Sniff, yes."
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
The morbid jokes on this site.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
Roses are red, Burnt bodies are black.
You'd look great With a knife in your back.
"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Cuddle with you.🙂