Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Chess

    • Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?

    The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.

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    • Watermelon

    • What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

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    • Michael Jackson

    • "So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

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    • School Shooter

    • If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

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    • Priest

    • What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

    You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

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    • Draft

    • So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."

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    • Shower

    • A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."

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