A starving homeless kid ask me for food
I said "sorry,my plate is full"
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by bus
why is america bad at chess, we already lost two towers
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What is burned dark and glued to the wall? A bad electrician
What do turtals and lesbians have in comen
they both choke on plastic
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident. They’ll hear the one word they hate the most. “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE”
Why did Paul walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall
"What's your name, son?" The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
I wanted to solve Teen Suicide, so I shot up a Middle School.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console but the game kept crashing
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him its a hairdryer.
My Relatives Always Teased Me During Weddings saying " You'll Be Next " But they Stopped when I did the same to them during Funerals
whats the differnece between a baby and a trampoline. the trampoline doesnt cave in when i jump on it
what was the last thing to go through Jfk's mind? A Bullet
