Morbid Jokes

I was walking in the forrest with my gf I had a desert eagle for protection A bear jumped out of the bushes one shot was enough to put my gf down and it gave me enough time to run away

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"

Famous last words:

"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."

What’s the difference between 911 and a abortion?

With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.

What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down

I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady but she just screamed and flew out of the plane

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common? They both light up the room

The orphanage was open in apps but I didn’t see the home button.

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.

My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can't hit home.

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White Vans

why did the vegetable cross the road. He didn't he just sat there

What's the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

Why can't Chinese people play baseball?

Because they eat the bat.

" Why is it that Orphans only play tennis" That's the only love they can get"...

A new game the whole family can play...

Incest