A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand. He said, But Dad I'm blind. Exactly
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave...
What does JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common? “They both blow heads”.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
just got a iphone 12 for my brother, best trade i've ever made
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said “ Let me break it down for you like the twin towers.”
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof!
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
According to statistics 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
happiness
I was walking in the forrest with my gf I had a desert eagle for protection A bear jumped out of the bushes one shot was enough to put my gf down and it gave me enough time to run away
My mom said she will slam me head into my computer of I don't get of it, I'm not to worried though, I think she is just jhehus,d.kes,jdhcuya71,hshh.jdh
what do you call a stalker stalking himself a narcissist
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
I'm better than you in every single way.... I even have an extra chromosome.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline
