Morbid jokes

The word "ginger" is just the n-word reorganized.

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.

- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?

- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!

Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?

Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.

Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.

When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?

Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.

modern feminism.

Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

what do you call a baby in an oven?

my next meal.

I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

Justin: Hey.

Josh: Hey man.

Justin: Why only "man"?

Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.

Justin: I don't mind.

Josh: Okay, S L A V E.

Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!

Q: Why did the chef get fired?

A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."

If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".

But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.

Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.

The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.